“I don’t seem to have goals or any dreams anymore. Nothing feels appealing – I don’t see any reason to really do anything. That does not mean that I lay in bed all day but if I could choose I would never leave it. So, how do I get out of this rut? Any book recommendations on the topic? Or anything else that could help?”
I’m paraphrasing here, but this is a conversation I had recently with someone. It was a long and winding talk, but here are the thoughts I shared with her. I’m going to address this to anyone who is reading this now, not her!
First, for anyone identifying with this, there is an obvious disconnection from your own desires. This could have happened over a long time, if it doesn’t feel new to you. If you’re newly frustrated with this, then it’s your signal that it’s time to do something different…
Second, a book is NOT what I’d recommend, in a case like this. It probably wouldn’t hurt, but it will engage your thinking mind, which is not the part that needs to be awakened and listened to. So, sure, you could read a book. But it won’t lead you to feel much better.
Third, there are some things I would recommend. In general, anything that you do find to be enjoyable. The simpler the better. Do you like drawing? Get a piece of paper and draw, without any purpose. Without any time limit. And listen to your inner feelings, or allow yourself to FEEL them.
If it’s music that you enjoy, sing. Or play. Without any purpose, goal, or reason. Cooking? Get into the kitchen and create something. But not for work, not for any reason whatsoever.
The only reason to do these activities is to connect with your feelings, and senses. Sensation and feelings, good or bad.
At some point, our thinking mind can become caught up in right and wrong, good and bad, rules to follow and memorize. But this is not who we are. This is an illusion.
We are the feelings deep down. If you feel separated from any motivations, pleasure, happiness, joy in life – well, a quick way to take a step forward is to connect with simple sensations by doing things you enjoy.
(If you don’t think you enjoy anything, then do something you USED to enjoy, and make sure you are not disturbed while doing it!)
Any thoughts you’d like to share? Send them to me or chime in!